“ You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth .” – Gibran , Kahlil , The Prophet wc 1549
At the same time , the following questions are on the minds of nearly all new students as they prepare to enter college : Will I make friends ? Will I be able to compete academically ? Will I like my roommate ? Will my roommate like me ? Will I be able to maintain my relationship with my girlfriend / boyfriend from a distance … should we even try ? What about alcohol and drugs … how will they impact my life on campus ? Will I be able to find a part-time job to help with college expenses ? What will I be doing four or five years from now ? Where will I be ? In what ways will I be different than I am now ? Will I not just survive , but thrive on campus ?
Most new students are exposed to a more academically rigorous curriculum , a more diverse student body , and a more distant relationship with those who have traditionally met their emotional needs . Some students may find they need extra help in math or writing . Others may require assistance in learning how to study . Students who have never had academic difficulties may find themselves overwhelmed as they encounter other gifted students who were at the top of their high school classes . As students adjust to these changes , they are also expected to accept increased responsibility and independence .
Students are required to become adept at balancing the requirements of everyday life – classes , sleep , study time , meals , extracurricular activities , financial management , social activities , part-time jobs , laundry , etc . And they are expected to do so while making new friends and developing new support systems . All too often , students report that they are physically , mentally , and emotionally exhausted before classes even begin .
There are some things new students and their parents can do to prepare for this journey . First , it is important to understand that , like any journey , it will have its ups and downs . Students will experience joy and sorrow , success and failure , disappointment and elation .
New students should strive to make connections on campus . Not only should they reach out to those with backgrounds , interests , and beliefs that may differ from their own ,
26 ❖ Julien ’ s Journal but they should also make an effort to cultivate relationships with at least one member of the faculty and staff . Many students find comfort in having a trusted adult friend on campus .
Being engaged in campus life is also important . Life outside the classroom is fun and rewarding and contributes to future marketability . Leadership opportunities abound in organizations ranging from music and theatre to student publications , athletics , and recreation .
Parents must understand that college is a time for students to experiment with their identity , to choose different paths than they might have traveled in high school , to reach out to different people , and to explore new interests and activities .
They need to step back and allow their children to become acquainted with their new environment , its people , and its culture . It is only natural to want to call and keep in close touch with your student , but resist the urge and let your student take the lead in calling home . They may make some mistakes . We all do . They may learn some lessons the hard way . We all do that too .
Your student may call you in the middle of the night upset about a grade , challenged by an assignment , or concerned about a friend or roommate . Chances are , the problem will be resolved long before you get caught up on lost sleep .
Your role is to listen , comfort , and then refer your student to the appropriate campus resource . You may not know that person by name , but your student will . If he or she doesn ’ t , advise your student to check with a resident adviser , community assistant , or hall director . They are upperclass students trained as friends , mentors , and peer advisers . If they don ’ t have the answers , they know who does . Students who commute should seek assistance from staff in the Dean of Students office .
While students will have many opportunities to spread their wings and define and refine themselves as young adults , they must understand that with this newfound freedom comes increased responsibility and accountability .
Students should not underestimate the significance of what it means to be a responsible member of a campus community . Honesty and integrity are fundamental to the code of conduct on all campuses . This applies to behavior in the classroom , the residence halls , the student center , and even the basketball court . Most violations of community standards are committed by good students who make poor choices .
Parents and students should be mindful that it is against the law for people under the age of 21 to purchase , consume , or distribute alcohol . Colleges and universities are finding themselves under increased scrutiny with regard to the use and abuse of alcohol and drugs . There can be severe consequences if your student chooses to drink or worse yet , drink and drive . Mere association with an underage drinker in a local bar can lead to the arrest of the entire group .
Records at most colleges and universities will confirm that lapses in judgment that result in accidents or disciplinary charges often stem from the use of alcohol . Underage drinking can also impact one ’ s financial aid , admission to professional schools , and even one ’ s ultimate vocation .
It ’ s also important that students and parents understand that a campus is not immune to the problems found in the communityat-large . Thefts and burglaries occur on all campuses . Unfortunately , on occasion , so do assaults , rapes , and even murder .
Students play an important role in keeping the campus safe . Encourage your student to lock his or her door even when going down the hall to visit a friend . Exterior doors in residence halls should remain locked . Students should be advised to travel in groups , especially after dark . And students who commute should park in well traveled areas that are lit at night . Many campuses offer security escorts during the night-time hours and blue-light emergency phones are available at most colleges and universities . Campus police are alerted whenever the receivers are lifted .
Be aware that all student educational records are subject to the provisions of the federal privacy act known as the Family