Sex has been made into the
subject of so much analysis,
theory and discussions that it
is difficult to consider it
objectively. There is too
much being written and
talked about how much, how
often and how long couples
should have sex. So at the
very outset, accept that
whatever works for you both
is the right way and the right
amount; so don’t perturbed if
your best friend gets it thrice
a week whereas you can
manage it only thrice a
month. At the same time keep
in mind that sometimes two
separate individuals may
naturally have different sex
drives. Don’t assume that
your partner is a freak for
wanting it more often than
you do or that he/she is cold
and insensitive for wanting it
less than you do. Once you
begin to get rid of fixed
notions, it will be much
easier to look for and work
out a solution.
JOY FEELINGS MAG!
Seek a middle ground
However things become
problematic when couples
experience actual desire
differences as opposed to
imagined ones. In such a
situation, see if you both can
meet somewhere in the
middle. Suppose your partner
is hooked to pornographic
visuals while you like to
restrict things between the
two of you. An acceptable
compromise would be to
encourage him to share his
sexual fantasies and see if
you can act them out. This
way he will get the visual
stimulation he needs while
you need not get
uncomfortable about other
images getting into the
‘picture’. Even though
compromise means that
neither of you gets what you
really want and for the same
reason maybe considered as
less than an ideal solution, it
is at least a start to
accommodating differing