relationship strong even on those days when excitement and
passion are not at the forefront. Addictive love, by contrast,
tends to be more singularly focused on attaining those "highs,"
whatever the cost. Partners whose behavior is unpredictable
(e.g., they don't call when they say they will), are,
unfortunately, especially likely to keep you hooked, since their
inconsistent affection keeps you on your toes—and wanting
more. If you are trying to break free from a relationship that
feels more like an addiction than a loving bond, one strategy is
to reframe your thoughts and emotions about that person as if
he or she is a cold, clinical biological process, in order to gain a
healthy distance. For example, after a week of not calling, you
feel a wave of longing in your chest and think, "But I really do
love him (or her)... I should call right now..." Instead, you could
simply notice that sensation and tell yourself, "Interesting.
There goes my caudate nucleus releasing dopamine and
producing a sensation of longing. OK, back to work."
2. Give yourself a break.