Joy feelings magazine Feb 2020 | Page 53

that you’re getting somewhere when all you’re doing is chatting online with a bunch of strangers. Don’t let it be your only method. The upside of online dating is you can search for people by any filter including mutual interests. The downside is you cut yourself off from the spontaneity of real life; you never know when you’ll run into a great match at a friend’s party or your favorite coffee shop. Use online dating in conjunction with other methods, not as your sole method. Don’t wait too long to make your move. After 2 or 3 messages, you have a sense of the other person’s interest. Don’t say anything self-defeating like, “I don’t suppose you’d like to meet up, would you?” Focus on getting littles yeses from the other person: “I think talking in person is a better way of getting to know someone than email.” If you can get a yes on topics you know they’ll agree with, they’re more likely to say yes to meeting up with you. Suggest something that’s easy and a low investment like getting a coffee. You don’t have mutual friends to attest how wonderful you are, and this person doesn’t even know what your voice sounds like. You’re a total stranger! By making this