the sick, to be like tranquil waters and not
like a tsunami. His way of being embodied those tranquil waters that refresh the
spirit alluded to by King David in psalm
23. His own example began with his ubiquitous smile by which many remember
him. He emphasised the importance of
being upbeat when visiting the sick or
comforting people. Creating a healing atmosphere requires bringing warmth, optimism and hope into the room. Strengthening a person’s faith and trust in
Hashem is the most important thing you
can offer. It has a direct effect on helping
them to heal. With a clear purpose in
mind, you can bring true healing.
It’s vitally important while visiting the
sick to have conversations that offer encouragement and bring positivity into the
room. In order to do this, you have to truly be present. You have to have a mind
that is open and receptive. You need to
adopt the approach of a good host in order to be attentive and accurately sense
what is really important and truly valuable to the other. This means, for example, tuning in to whether the sick person
even wants to speak to you and allowing
them to discuss what’s on their mind.
In order to be truly helpful, it is important to be honest and clear about your intentions. Your intention should be to help
the sick person to heal, or to assist the
family and other people who are supporting the patient. Providing a healing presence to someone requires great sensitivity
and insight. Many people visit for essentially selfish motives. An example would
be visiting out of duty or to appear to
have done the right thing among friends
or family. Some act out of a compulsion
to see the sick person in order to get reassurance to calm their own anxiety. Others
may simply need to be seen so as to reaffirm their own sense of importance.
When you visit prompted by your own
needs, you may behave in ways during the
visit that are actually counterproductive
to the healing of the ill person.
It’s detrimental to scare someone who
is ill by giving them the impression that
you are fearful because you arrive with an
air of panic or hysteria. Even if you are
coming to grips with the possible loss, it’s
the worst thing to look as if you are already in mourning. People sitting at the
hospital bed having conversations over
the patient as if the person isn’t there is
degrading and hurtful.