One of my favourite stories I often use
at prayers is of my own Zaida, olov hasholom. My late mom’s father was a schochet back in Europe (from the same
shtetl as Rabbi Aloy of blessed memory)
and later practised his art in Brooklyn
too. After my Bobba passed away, Zaida
came to live with us and I had the distinct privilege to be his roommate for 12
years. Until his passing in 1969, he also
served as Gabbai in the Lubavitcher Rebbe’s shul, the famed ‘770’.
Zaida had a little ritual every morning.
Before going to shul for the morning minyan, he would sit in the lounge by the coffee table with a pushke, a charity tin, and
a pile of nickels and dimes. And I remember hearing him saying something every
time he put a coin into the tzedakah box.
“This is for my father Yisroel’s neshama...
clink. This is for my mother Esther’s neshama...clank; this is for my brother
Yosef’s neshama… clink…”
So, as a kid, I didn’t really understand
what Zaida was doing. I thought this is
what old Jews do before they go to shul.
It was only after becoming a rabbi that I
remembered this scene and realised that
OUR ULTIMATE HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON OUR ABILITY
TO FIND A HOLISTIC APPROACH AND BALANCE BETWEEN
THE SPIRITUAL AND THE PHYSICAL.
Zaida was perpetuating the memories of
his loved ones. By performing an act of
tzedakah – no matter how small – in
their memory, he was bringing a zchus, a
merit, to their departed souls. I now
have no doubt that those coins clinking
and clanking in Brooklyn were making a
big noise up in heaven!
I honestly believe there is nothing
more comforting to bereaved families
than knowing that the essence of their
loved one has not died and that they can
still connect and do something for them
spiritually. And that there can be no
doubt those same departed souls will be
good ‘Advocates on High’, putting in a
good word for their family below. Even
after physical death, the spiritual relationship has not been completely severed. And I know that this spiritual perspective has been very healing to so
many over the years.
When we are able to mesh the psychological with the spiritual, we go a long way
to healing ourselves holistically. We may
have problems with money, health, nachas, etc, but essentially if our bodies and
souls are in sync, if we know who we are
and where we are going in life, we will suffer no spiritual schizophrenia, no existential quandaries, doubts or dilemmas. And
that is what will truly make us happy. JL
Rabbi Yossy Goldman is senior rabbi of the Sydenham Highlands North Shul since 1986
and president of the South African Rabbinical Association. His book, From where I stand,
was published by KTAV in 2012 and is available at Jewish booksellers, from amazon.com,
or www.ktav.com.
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