The big C
It looked like colored curtains with the colors moving from top
Melanoma to bottom and then it appeared pe as if my face was in the middle of it. The hallucinations came on unexpected after my forth day of chemotherapy. Very heavy chemotherapy, for a recently metastasized malignant melanoma- cancer- that involved two different concoctions which took more than 4 hours per day to administer over five consecutive
cutive days. They then sent me home for two weeks to ride out this nasty treatment. What made it even worse was that they gave me some heavy narcotic analgesia in addition ion to the chemo to help with some nerve pain that I had as a result of a recent lobectomy on my right lung to remove a tumor. The thoracotomy pressed the nerves up against my ribs and caused severe pain well after the pain felt immediately following the operation. I was now home and trying to survive my first round of chemotherapy. I couldn’ t eat, drink or walk. I felt that there was a very thin line between being alive and where I was at. I cried each time I spoke and couldn’ t really cope with what was going on. I went on like this for more than 7 days, unable to get out of bed. Unable to really communicate. Fortunately I stopped taking the pain medication prescribed but still I was in a delirium. My thoughts included never wanting to go through this much suffering again. I was hypersensitive to chemical smells in the house and couldn’ t use or be around soaps or detergents of any kind. I threw up several times and wound up being hydrated. One of the clinical nurses at the hospital where my chemo was given, gave me her card and asked me to call if needed. Fortunately, I called her and she asked to see me. Within minutes of meeting her, she called my oncologist and I was re-admitted in the hospital. I was extremely dehydrated and in a state of delirium. It took three days of hydration for me to start coming good that allowed me to speak without crying. During these three days, I saw several other doctors that were trying to understand why I was in such a condition. A palliative care doctor said it was easy to diagnose in retrospect. I was hypersensitive to the narcotic pain medication. Although I stopped the medication, it was still in my system and my metabolism was slow. This combined with my dehydration caused the delirium. Then they sent in the psychiatrist to see if I was wacko or not and she concurred with the palliative care specialist.
This all started a few years earlier when Mimi noticed a new mole on my left chest. I went to the GP to see what it was and she said that she will keep an eye on it. In retrospect, she should have sent me for a biopsy. About 18 months later, I had a small bloody area on the tip of my nose. I was traveling at the time and I showed this to my niece, Nicole and she said that it looked like a basal cell carcinoma. This is quite benign. On my return to Perth, I went to the same GP and said I had this and could I get a referral to a plastic surgeon. I presented to the surgeon and showed him my nose and he confirmed it was a basal cell carcinoma and he started to describe the flap type of surgical procedure he would use. I then asked him to take a look at my chest and virtually as soon as I pulled back my shirt he, excitedly, blurted out, that’ s a melanoma and I will
BARRY STEVEN EPSTEIN- PhotoAutobiography DRAFT 152 of 156