January 2020 January 2020 | Page 40

The Golf Cart CHRONICLES BY: SUZY JAMES - WWW.ITSNEVER2LATEBOOKS.COM This Is A Story taken from The Golf Cart Chronicles - A Compilation Of Funny Golf Cart/Golfing Related Short Stories DON’T FORGET TO REMEMBER 2020 IS HERE! SUZY JAMES, Author • Eat less golf balls this year Just in case you forgot, it’s time to start your New Year’s golfing reso- lutions and other prom- ises you made way back in early 2019. If you didn’t make any, or nev- er followed through on most of them maybe the following suggestions from the Golfing Wiz- ard might be the perfect time to start off 2020 with a few laughs: • Stop scratching your head when you don’t know where the golf ball landed, use a compass Enter the seniors over 80 pro-amateur golfing contest where the golfer with the highest score gets new teeth implants free 40 • Spend ten dollars on a raffle ticket and take a chance at winning a unique golf cart toboggan donated by the “Florida Down Hill Toboggan Lawn Racers” • Stop working on your putting skills when sleeping; so you won’t end up in your kids sand box • Drive your golf cart carefully, it can’t see where it’s going • Stop telling everyone your score, people know from looking you’re either a hole WWW.GOLFCAROPTIONS.COM in one winner, or a hole in the ground duffer • Spend more time on the golf course instead of doing what really matters • Decide to give up golfing and take up polo; you have a polo shirt, all you need is a real horse • Stop keeping a golf score card and just estimate your score, and try to beat it • Don’t worry about having a bad day of golf anymore; it always is, so why worry • Don’t cry like a baby when you hit the ball on your fourth try • If your ball goes left when you