CHAPTER XXIX 439
" No : I fear discovery above all things ; and whatever disclosure would lead to it , I avoid ."
" You are quite right , I am sure ," said Diana . " Now do , brother , let her be at peace a while ."
But when St . John had mused a few moments he recommenced as imperturbably and with as much acumen as ever .
" You would not like to be long dependent on our hospitality -- you would wish , I see , to dispense as soon as may be with my sisters ' compassion , and , above all , with my CHARITY ( I am quite sensible of the distinction drawn , nor do I resent it -- it is just ): you desire to be independent of us ?"
" I do : I have already said so . Show me how to work , or how to seek work : that is all I now ask ; then let me go , if it be but to the meanest cottage ; but till then , allow me to stay here : I dread another essay of the horrors of homeless destitution ."
" Indeed you SHALL stay here ," said Diana , putting her white hand on my head . " You SHALL ," repeated Mary , in the tone of undemonstrative sincerity which seemed natural to her .
" My sisters , you see , have a pleasure in keeping you ," said Mr . St . John , " as they would have a pleasure in keeping and cherishing a half-frozen bird , some wintry wind might have driven through their casement . I feel more inclination to put you in the way of keeping yourself , and shall endeavour to do so ; but observe , my sphere is narrow . I am but the incumbent of a poor country parish : my aid must be of the humblest sort . And if you are inclined to despise the day of small things , seek some more efficient succour than such as I can offer ."
" She has already said that she is willing to do anything honest she can do ," answered Diana for me ; " and you know , St . John , she has no choice of helpers : she is forced to put up with such crusty people as you ."