CHAPTER XXIX 439
" No: I fear discovery above all things; and whatever disclosure would lead to it, I avoid."
" You are quite right, I am sure," said Diana. " Now do, brother, let her be at peace a while."
But when St. John had mused a few moments he recommenced as imperturbably and with as much acumen as ever.
" You would not like to be long dependent on our hospitality-- you would wish, I see, to dispense as soon as may be with my sisters ' compassion, and, above all, with my CHARITY( I am quite sensible of the distinction drawn, nor do I resent it-- it is just): you desire to be independent of us?"
" I do: I have already said so. Show me how to work, or how to seek work: that is all I now ask; then let me go, if it be but to the meanest cottage; but till then, allow me to stay here: I dread another essay of the horrors of homeless destitution."
" Indeed you SHALL stay here," said Diana, putting her white hand on my head. " You SHALL," repeated Mary, in the tone of undemonstrative sincerity which seemed natural to her.
" My sisters, you see, have a pleasure in keeping you," said Mr. St. John, " as they would have a pleasure in keeping and cherishing a half-frozen bird, some wintry wind might have driven through their casement. I feel more inclination to put you in the way of keeping yourself, and shall endeavour to do so; but observe, my sphere is narrow. I am but the incumbent of a poor country parish: my aid must be of the humblest sort. And if you are inclined to despise the day of small things, seek some more efficient succour than such as I can offer."
" She has already said that she is willing to do anything honest she can do," answered Diana for me; " and you know, St. John, she has no choice of helpers: she is forced to put up with such crusty people as you."