CHAPTER XXIX 438
" I left Lowood nearly a year since to become a private governess . I obtained a good situation , and was happy . This place I was obliged to leave four days before I came here . The reason of my departure I cannot and ought not to explain : it would be useless , dangerous , and would sound incredible . No blame attached to me : I am as free from culpability as any one of you three . Miserable I am , and must be for a time ; for the catastrophe which drove me from a house I had found a paradise was of a strange and direful nature . I observed but two points in planning my departure -- speed , secrecy : to secure these , I had to leave behind me everything I possessed except a small parcel ; which , in my hurry and trouble of mind , I forgot to take out of the coach that brought me to Whitcross . To this neighbourhood , then , I came , quite destitute . I slept two nights in the open air , and wandered about two days without crossing a threshold : but twice in that space of time did I taste food ; and it was when brought by hunger , exhaustion , and despair almost to the last gasp , that you , Mr . Rivers , forbade me to perish of want at your door , and took me under the shelter of your roof . I know all your sisters have done for me since -- for I have not been insensible during my seeming torpor -- and I owe to their spontaneous , genuine , genial compassion as large a debt as to your evangelical charity ."
" Don ' t make her talk any more now , St . John ," said Diana , as I paused ; " she is evidently not yet fit for excitement . Come to the sofa and sit down now , Miss Elliott ."
I gave an involuntary half start at hearing the alias : I had forgotten my new name . Mr . Rivers , whom nothing seemed to escape , noticed it at once .
" You said your name was Jane Elliott ?" he observed .
" I did say so ; and it is the name by which I think it expedient to be called at present , but it is not my real name , and when I hear it , it sounds strange to me ."
" Your real name you will not give ?"