CHAPTER XXVII 395
and seemed to make light of your own abstraction . It seemed to say -- ' My fine visions are all very well , but I must not forget they are absolutely unreal . I have a rosy sky and a green flowery Eden in my brain ; but without , I am perfectly aware , lies at my feet a rough tract to travel , and around me gather black tempests to encounter .' You ran downstairs and demanded of Mrs . Fairfax some occupation : the weekly house accounts to make up , or something of that sort , I think it was . I was vexed with you for getting out of my sight .
" Impatiently I waited for evening , when I might summon you to my presence . An unusual -- to me -- a perfectly new character I suspected was yours : I desired to search it deeper and know it better . You entered the room with a look and air at once shy and independent : you were quaintly dressed -- much as you are now . I made you talk : ere long I found you full of strange contrasts . Your garb and manner were restricted by rule ; your air was often diffident , and altogether that of one refined by nature , but absolutely unused to society , and a good deal afraid of making herself disadvantageously conspicuous by some solecism or blunder ; yet when addressed , you lifted a keen , a daring , and a glowing eye to your interlocutor ' s face : there was penetration and power in each glance you gave ; when plied by close questions , you found ready and round answers . Very soon you seemed to get used to me : I believe you felt the existence of sympathy between you and your grim and cross master , Jane ; for it was astonishing to see how quickly a certain pleasant ease tranquillised your manner : snarl as I would , you showed no surprise , fear , annoyance , or displeasure at my moroseness ; you watched me , and now and then smiled at me with a simple yet sagacious grace I cannot describe . I was at once content and stimulated with what I saw : I liked what I had seen , and wished to see more . Yet , for a long time , I treated you distantly , and sought your company rarely . I was an intellectual epicure , and wished to prolong the gratification of making this novel and piquant acquaintance : besides , I was for a while troubled with a haunting fear that if I handled the flower freely its bloom would fade -- the sweet charm of freshness would leave it . I did not then know that it was no transitory blossom , but rather the radiant resemblance of one , cut in an indestructible gem . Moreover , I wished to see whether you would seek me if I shunned you -- but you did not ; you kept in