CHAPTER XXI 303 some water ! Oh , make haste !"
" Dear Mrs . Reed ," said I , as I offered her the draught she required , " think no more of all this , let it pass away from your mind . Forgive me for my passionate language : I was a child then ; eight , nine years have passed since that day ."
She heeded nothing of what I said ; but when she had tasted the water and drawn breath , she went on thus -
" I tell you I could not forget it ; and I took my revenge : for you to be adopted by your uncle , and placed in a state of ease and comfort , was what I could not endure . I wrote to him ; I said I was sorry for his disappointment , but Jane Eyre was dead : she had died of typhus fever at Lowood . Now act as you please : write and contradict my assertion -- expose my falsehood as soon as you like . You were born , I think , to be my torment : my last hour is racked by the recollection of a deed which , but for you , I should never have been tempted to commit ."
" If you could but be persuaded to think no more of it , aunt , and to regard me with kindness and forgiveness "
" You have a very bad disposition ," said she , " and one to this day I feel it impossible to understand : how for nine years you could be patient and quiescent under any treatment , and in the tenth break out all fire and violence , I can never comprehend ."
" My disposition is not so bad as you think : I am passionate , but not vindictive . Many a time , as a little child , I should have been glad to love you if you would have let me ; and I long earnestly to be reconciled to you now : kiss me , aunt ."
I approached my cheek to her lips : she would not touch it . She said I oppressed her by leaning over the bed , and again demanded water . As I laid her down -- for I raised her and supported her on my arm while she drank -- I covered her ice-cold and clammy hand with mine : the feeble fingers