Another barrier for the victim leaving might be the victim’s sense of shame, embarrassment, or blame.
• The victim doesn’t think anyone will believe or understand her/him or will wonder how she/he got into such a relationship and question her/him as to why she/he hasn’t already left.
• Family and friends continually blame the victim for the abuse, by asking “Why don’t you just leave?” or “What did you do to make him/her mad?”
• The abuser has told the victim that the abuse is her/his fault and she/he believes it. The abuser wasn’t abusive in the beginning, so it must be the victim. The victim believes she/he can make the abuse stop if she/he can just get it right by anticipating the abuser’s every need and comply with those demands.
• Family and friends are angry with the victim for staying in the relationship and have withdrawn their support. The victim feels even more isolated and alone and believes she/he has no one.
• The victim may be embarrassed about some of the things she/he has done or was made to do in the relationship.
Another barrier for the victim to leaving might be financial worry.
• The victim may have little or no work skills and wonders how to find employment that will enable her/him to provide adequate shelter, food, clothing, and child care for her/his family.
• The abuser may harass the victim and threaten her/his safety and others in the workplace, if she/he is employed.
• The victim may have been fired from previous employment due to the abuser’s ongoing harassment on the job or absenteeism due to injuries or emotional stress suffered in the relationship. Therefore, it could be difficult to find new employment.
• The victim may have little or no access to cash. The abuser makes all the financial decisions and controls all the money and important financial documents.
• The abuser may have destroyed the victim’s credit. Therefore, the victim is unable to obtain a home and other necessities to provide for her/his family.
• The victim may fear losing a job if abuse is reported.