INSIGHT Magazine October 2014 | Page 15

INSIGHT’S HALLOWEEN INTERACTIVE FICTION Your mind reaches back to the third grade, drawing on the dead languages that guided your people from Ms. Handler’s room into the desert for forty years, finally reaching the promised playground. You attempt to speak Pig Latin to confuse the gerbil. What begins as a fairly competent speech loses focus around the part about mutually assured destruction, and soon you are merely making ineffectual grunts and hand signals. Amazingly, the gerbil sits bolt upright as the word “ferzywerzebel” falls from your mouth. After a moment of experimentation, you INSIGHT realize that you have unintentionally spoken the gerbil’s true name, and now have complete control over the adorable hellspawn’s actions. Recognizing this as your opportunity to ascend to power, you use the gerbil’s overwhelming capacity for violence to take over the world. It’s pretty cool. YOU WIN! SCORE: DOMINATION VICTORY! If you’d like to go back in time to before you doomed the world to your leadership, you can always go back to page 12. October 2014 15