HEALTH + WELLNESS
safety in the relationship and to work on building intimacy – slowly but surely . Like anything else worthwhile , intimacy takes effort , and the first step in building it is to make time for it – across all key pillars .
BUILDING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY
This requires a three-part approach . First , slow down your communication . Second , keep it simple . And finally , share what ’ s hard to say . Essentially , think about the specific feelings you want to convey before you speak , and when you do speak , contextualise them so you can communicate effectively . You can ’ t simultaneously protect yourself and be emotionally intimate , so wear your heart on your sleeve and carve out time with whomever your communicating with for uninterrupted conversation - not just to speak about your emotions , but also to listen to theirs .
BUILDING MENTAL INTIMACY
To boost mental intimacy , make a conscious effort to engage in thoughtful conversations or shared projects . Make sure you spend significant amounts of time engaging together in what stimulates you mentally whether that ’ s crosswords , dissecting complicated film plots , playing board games , or watching reruns of The Chase - competition doesn ’ t hurt , either , and can lighten the whole mood .
BUILDING SPIRITUAL INTIMACY
Don ’ t take this too seriously ( unless you ’ re both seriously spiritual ) because spiritual intimacy can involve discussing and sharing values and practises that make you both feel grounded . If your partner isn ’ t spiritually inclined , talk about what spirituality means to you , how it makes you a better person , and gives more meaning to your life and see if that resonates . Equally , spiritual intimacy can be cultivated by finding simple connections in quiet moments that seem poignant to you – if you ’ re watching the sun set over a still seascape , for instance , and you ‘ feel ’ something , chat about the spiritual meaning you get from that moment .
BUILDING PHYSICAL INTIMACY
Comfortingly , as this is an element of intimacy that people can struggle with , there are multiple ways to build physical intimacy . For some , this means focusing on sex to create a level of closeness that both parties need . For others , physical intimacy may be deciding to sit close to each other on the same side of the sofa to watch TV , holding hands on the walk to the supermarket , having a cuddle in bed before the madness of the day begins , or simply remembering to give each other a kiss goodbye before heading off to work . Start small and work your way towards whatever level makes you feel connected and appreciated .
Overall , it ’ s important to remember that building intimacy in relationships takes time and effort . Nothing is wrong with you if you and your partner fumble your way through it sometimes ; thanks to TV and social media , many of us have a filtered view of what intimacy , romance and connection looks like , and in reality it ’ s rarely as smooth , especially when life throws you stressful or time-consuming curveballs .
Sometimes you might have to schedule sex – and that ’ s OK . Sometimes you won ’ t feel like being vulnerable when your partner wants to be deep and meaningful – and that ’ s OK , too . It ’ s as much about communication as it is action , and it takes your brain and body time to shift into being intimate - it ’ s not like a light switch and you shouldn ’ t expect it to be ; go with the flow and you might surprise yourself .
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