insideKENT Magazine Issue 141 - January 2024 | Page 102

HEALTH + WELLNESS
FAMILY / RELATIONSHIPS
Ensuring that you dedicate as much time to your important relationships as you do to your job is a slow and steady transition that won ’ t be achieved overnight , but that will make all the difference eventually . A good starting point is to make a note of important dates like birthdays and anniversaries and actually do something to mark them ; even an e-card is better than no card at all . Make sure you transfer them at the end of the year when you get a new calendar or diary , too .
Make sure that your loved ones know where your priorities lie and do everything you can to let them see that they are your first choice . Be specific here – it ’ s better all round to state that you ’ re going to spend an hour alone with each of your children at least once a week than to say that you ’ re going to try and spend more quality time with each of them . ‘ Quality time ’ is a brilliant concept , but it ’ s also a vague one , so unless you ’ re clear , it ’ s hard to quantify whether or not you ’ ve accomplished that goal . Children are so wonderfully perceptive and know instantly if your mind starts to wander , so it ’ s important to show them that they are deserving of your undivided attention . Communication with your partner is absolutely key to keeping your relationship on a positive track and if something ’ s not making you happy , you should chat about it – sharing a life ( and your personal space ) with another person is an incredible balancing act in itself that involves not only individual strength , but interactive support , so if you ’ re bearing all the weight , you won ’ t find harmony . Equally important , when someone is making you happy , tell them – it doesn ’ t matter if your other half always does the same chores , if you take a minute to appreciate that they ’ ve done them , a little appreciation will make a huge difference to how they feel .
YOU
When did ‘ me time ’ become something that we ’ re supposed to feel guilty about ? Sometimes there ’ s an essential need for a little selfishness , even if that involves a simple ten-minute meditation , or a short walk on your own , so make sure you focus on yourself as well as others – if you ’ re run down and stretched too thinly , but everyone else is well looked after , the scales are tipping too far in the wrong direction .
The internet – particularly social media – can be addictive and can swallow up precious minutes if you let it , plus there have been numerous reported cases of people getting hugely depressed because they ’ re obsessing about the apparent Pinterest-perfect of lives of others in comparison to their relatively ‘ normal ’ existence . Put the laptop away and spend any free time you have with real people in real situations – it ’ s far less distracting and far more fun .
Prioritise . The importance of setting goals , deciding which are most important , and then doing the most important things first is not to be underestimated . The problem is often figuring out what it is that ’ s most important . Ask yourself on any given day , in any given moment , what is your priority ? Is checking your emails more important than calling your mother ? Is talking to your friend when you ’ ve already spoken three times that day more important than squeezing in a workout ? In order to stay in balance , it ’ s useful to reexamine your priorities often - once you decide what ’ s important , focus on it and get it done .
Most importantly , remind yourself that balance is not a final goal , but an ongoing process , and that being ‘ balanced ’ doesn ’ t mean being cool , calm and collected all of the time – it ’ s a practice and the goal is not to become great at it , but to keep practicing it . If you start feeling like you ’ re sliding too far down one end of the scale again , give yourself a break , work out where your priorities become confused and start to redress again – the beauty of resetting the balance in life is that it can be recovered as quickly as it can start to slip .
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