iNM Volume 8 | Page 44

#Alumni Speaks stockist would not yield the result I want. The salesman was required to listen to me because of the hierarchy and he would but only out of sheer compulsion and not persuasion. I was supposed to act as the leader for the other, relatively new, salesman but seemed to be doing a dismal job. Frequent arguments would happen between him and the Super-Stockist and though I should have been the intermediary the reconciliatory between the two, I was too intimidated by the latter to interfere. Things reached such a point, where I would be asked to walk-out of the room and I would. I have never felt so embarrassed in my life. One evening after another one of those arguments, the salesman told me what I had long known but was never brave enough to say it out to myself. I cave-in to the Super-stockist. Repeatedly. I was not strong enough. I was living in denial where I would hide my insecurities and overlook them with the perks the job offered. Facing the mirror for the first time, I was shattered. Here was a guy, who would not think twice before standing up for what he believed in finding it difficult to even stand up for himself. I was hurt, deeply hurt. I remember as I stood in front of my house that day, I wondered was this why I cam