Caregiver Crossing
Ask an expert…
Dear Tina,
Susan,
I’ve heard great things about the
work that you do at Joy’s House.
I’m hoping that you’ll be able to
help me with my situation.
Thank you for reaching out. You
are going to hear it often, but it is
true- you aren’t alone. I applaud
you for noticing the changes with
your mother and for being persistent in getting her to the doctor, but
even more for planning to have this
important conversation before it’s
too late.
A few months ago, I noticed that
my mother was showing signs of
memory loss. At first it was small
things, but eventually they rolled
into something pretty big. I was
finally able to talk her into going
to the doctor, who after running
a number of tests, diagnosed my
mother with Alzheimer’s disease.
She is still in the early stages and
we both know that it is time to sit
and have what is sure to be a very
difficult conversation about what
her wishes are for her care.
Do you have any advice on how
to begin the conversation and
how I can prepare myself to be
my mother’s primary caregiver?
- Susan from Noblesville
As the children, we think that our
parents have everything figured
out, but in most situations that
simply isn’t the case.
The best tip that I can give someone in your situation is to assemble
your team. If you have siblings,
talk with them about what is going
on with your mom and what that
looks like for the future. Begin
researching home and community
based care options like in-home
companion care, home healthcare
and adult day services. Talk with
CICOA about what services are
available to your family.
As for the actual conversation with
your mom, the best thing you can
do is approach this time with love.
Remember that as hard as this is
for you, it is harder for her. After
all, she’s the mom. This isn’t the
road she planned to take with her
life. But as long as she knows that
she has your love and support, she
will be able to put one foot in front
of the other in the days to come.
Be open. Be honest. Let her make
her own decisions whenever possible and that goes for today and for
every day in the future.
And let us know what we can do
to help. At Joy’s House we have
CARE Kits designed for this very
situation. It’s a binder filled with
template documents to help your
family stay organized, educated and
informed throughout this journey.
There are sections to help you communicate with your medical team,
a place to track sleep and mood patterns, as well as a section to help
you manage the home. These are
free of charge to all caregivers and
all you have to do is stop by or let
us know that you are in need of a
CARE Kit and we will find a way to
get one to you.
Please keep in touch, and if there
is anything that we can do to help,
feel free to contact us at Joy’s
House at (317)254-0828.
Warmly,
Tina
[email protected]
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