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It’s Graduation Season: Here are a Few Tips for
Connecting With Your College-Bound Senior
ost college-bound seniors have
finalized their choice for college.
Not coincidentally, this is also
the time when most seniors begin—if
they haven’t already—to pull away from
their family. Even when your child seems
to be shouting, “I can’t wait to get out of
here,” try to find opportunities to express
your unwavering love. Acknowledge
special attributes and qualities, which can
provide a much-needed ego boost. This
natural and understandable attempt on
the young person’s part to individuate
can cause immense pain and confusion
for family members who are about to be “left behind.” Nevertheless,
these last precious few months of family time together can also be a time
of laughter, remembrance, and reconnection.
While there may be no overt signs of fear, uncertainty, or confusion
about this life passage, you can be sure that your child is experiencing
those feelings to some degree. Model some of the life skills you hope
your child will deploy as he or she goes off to college, and continue
to talk with enthusiasm and optimism about the many new, exciting
opportunities. Find moments to discuss some of the inevitable fears of
the unknown and share personal memories of times when you struggled
with new experiences and challenges.
If your child is the youngest or an “only,” be careful that he or
she doesn’t sense that the “empty nest” is going to be a miserable,
meaningless place for the parent(s) left behind. This can saddle
your child with an undue burden of guilt, and, in extreme cases, can
contribute to the phenomenon of “flunking out to save Mom/Dad.”
Technology makes it easy to learn about the daily life your child will
soon experience. Read some issues of the college’s newspaper, which
will give you a sense of burning issues on campus, special events, and
opportunities. Information gleaned from the college’s
website can lead to some great conversation starters.
Many colleges post available on-campus jobs. Invite your
child to look at these. This is a good time to discuss your
expectations about a part-time job to cover personal
expenses and/or contribute to tuition. Again, share your
own experiences.
Familiarize yourself with the services of the student
counseling center and encourage your child to seek out
its services for any behavioral or emotional struggles
(including drug and alcohol abuse). Reports indicate that
record numbers of college students
are experiencing anxiety, depression,
and other mental health problems.
Whatever the case, your child can only
benefit from hearing that asking for
help is positive and proactive.
Putting together a photo scrapbook
of your child’s life with comments and
reflections can be as meaningful for
your child as it is for you. Whenever
possible, find moments to laugh
with your child and seek comfort and
consolation from friends and relatives
who know what you are going through.
Develop a personal prayer or mantra that you say to yourself several
times a day, which can bring reassurance now and in the years ahead.
Remember, it does get better!
NICHE.COM RANKS SA #1
Niche.com ranked Sewickley
Academy the Best Private High
School in the Pittsburgh Metro Area.
The Academy is also ranked No. 1
in the Pittsburgh Metro Area for
Best Private School Teachers, Private High School
College Readiness, and Private High School with
Best Academics.
View the Rankings:
https://k12.niche.com/sewickley-academy-edgeworth-pa/rankings/
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