ABUSE MAGAZINE
“Even if they don’t say
anything, I know what they
are thinking.”
Maybe so. Let them think what they will.
It does not change the exceptional person
you are. How do I know you are exceptional? Because you are reading this, trying
to sort things out carefully and logically.
Finding the strength and courage to make
your life work in spite of the ignorant and
hurtful people who choose to attack you in
such a cowardly way,
“Sometimes it seems OK, but
sometimes it just gets to me
and I don’t think I can take
anymore.”
It may come in waves. When you feel a
wave of despair or anxiety coming on, take
a comfortable breath and remind yourself
that this horrible feeling will pass. When it
does, recognize it and enjoy the moment
(even if it is a brief one).
When it does get to you, respond by
building yourself up, not by tearing yourself
down.
“There is no one I can talk to
who will understand.”
There is. Perhaps your parents, but if
your parents don’t understand, there are
others – counselors at school, other adults
you know. Perhaps a parent of a friend. If
there is no one at school, there are hotlines
you can call such as the Crisis Call Center –
1-800-273-8255.
“There’s no way I can stop
this.”
Focus on what you can control. You
can’t control what people say or think,
but you can control how you respond to
them. Make a decision to focus less on
trying to make them stop bullying you,
and more on identifying your own goals
and dreams and making them come true.
“If I tell someone, they will think I am
a baby and tell me to stop whining about
it.”
Let them think what they will. Protecting or advocating for yourself is not
being a baby. It’s having courage and it is
your right! The fact is that you have the
right to a happy life.
“If I tell someone, it will only
get worse.”
• Bullies bully out of weakness. It
doesn’t seem like it, but it’s true.
They have learned over time that
the proof of their value is how strong
they are – often proven by picking on
people they perceive as weaker than
they. Often they come from households where they are bullied, so they
become bullies themselves. The fact
that you are being bullied by them is
more about them and their issues than
it is about you or whatever they are
saying about you.
It might, but if you don’t tell someone, it
is not likely to get better. Take the chance.
“I feel so ugly. I must be,
because they say I am.”
If they thought that saying you look
like a sirloin steak would hurt you, they’d
say that. What they say means absolutely
nothing.
• Bullies need to be fed constantly.
We feed them by either arguing with
them, or defending ourselves to them,
or obviously running from them. Do
not feed them! Instead, merely glance
in their direction, then look past
them, and then walk past them. As
annoying and painful as it is, strive to
not let that show. Just as celebrities
and politicians often endure very negative reviews, relentless taunting in
the media and sometimes vicious lies
and attacks, the key to their success is
for them to keep pushing forward with
our heads held high. That is my advice
to you.
“It feels like I am the only
one who has gone through
this and feels like I do.”
That is not true, although it feels like it.
There are so many others who have been
bullied. In fact, there are thousands of
articles written about bullying every year,
there are crisis lines, and groups formed
to educate and eliminate bullying. You are
definitely not alone.
“I WANT TO DIE!!!”
Never give in to these feelings. NEVER.
Ending your life because of cowards and
ignorant people is so very wrong. Don’t give
in to those who would try to destroy you
due to their own inadequacies.
Lastly, while I have made a number of
suggestions about what you can do to cope
with the bullying you are enduring, I do
want to stress the fact that this does not,
in any manner, suggest that the bullying you
are enduring is your fault. But, instead, to
show that there are things you can do to
survive it.
Finally, it is important that when we
are being picked on by bullies, we really
understand them. If we understand them,
it’s much easier for us to survive them.
Here are some important facts:
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815-968-4477
1001 South Pierpont Avenue
Rockford, IL
abusemagazine.org | Illinois Winter 2014 |
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