Ihsaan Magazine May 2020 Issue - Living your best Life | Page 17

1) If you are a parent of many
children, never complain
about money publicly. There
is always one parent who is a
little thriftier than the other
when it comes to finances
and that’s okay but when it
comes to people outside of
your home, NEVER complain
about money. The result is
always the same as you are
most likely going to end up
getting a statement like, “Well
who told you to have so many
children?” Instead, say this
du’a very often both in times
of hardship and ease:
“Allahumma inni as’aluka
al’afiyah”
(O Allah, I ask you for afiyah)
Don’t underestimate the
simple exterior of this du’a.
Afiyah is a protection and
request for many things such
as protection from afflictions
and sickness, to be healthy,
to have enough money,
protection for your children,
forgiveness, to be saved from
punishment in this life and the
akhirah and to live a good life.
2) If you are meeting a large
family for the first time, the
parenting methods will be
very different from yours.
Different circumstances call
for customized protocols.
However, never assume that
because it isn’t being done
your way, that it is being done
the wrong way.
3) If you have a large family
and feel overwhelmed often,
don’t automatically assume
that it is because you have
too many children. Parents of
two children most times feels
ten times more stressed than
parents with five. It all comes
down to your willingness to
accept or ask for help, BUT
be very wary of who you
ask for help as I will again
remind you of point one
above. When help is offered,
do not let pride get in the way.
Also, women need women in
their lives. Husbands, allow
and encourage your wives
to strengthen their bonds
of sisterhood with other
upstanding and righteous
women in the Muslim
community. Sometimes a
20-minute uninterrupted
phone call or coffee with
a friend or sibling, is all
a mother needs to fully
recharge, de-stress and
brighten her day.
4) We only have eighteen
August vacations with
our children before they
venture out into the world
of employment, marriage
and legal independence.
Use this time with them
to nourish each of their
unique personalities, in a
way that makes home the
most beloved place in their
hearts. Establish salaah in
the home, guide their sleepy
faces off the beds from as
young as 7 years old for
Fajr salaah and have meals
together. Bake delicious
things and have aromas in
the home that will fill their
memories and senses for
the rest of their lives inshaa
Allah.
Being the mom of a large
family is a beautiful life
Alhamdulillah. Beauty,
however, is not free
from struggle, countless
challenges and occasional
moments of helplessness.
My husband always
reminds us that ‘this life
is but a grain of sand on a
beach compared to the next
life’.
It is our job as parents
to accept what Allah
SWT has decreed for us
and to understand that
our children have been
entrusted to us for a short
time. Make this time
matter and May we all
be successful in raising
children who are conscious
of their Lord in all decisions
and are of selfless service to
their family and community
Ameen.