Half Your Deen
The Perfect Husband Is There Such a Thing?
What does the perfect husband look like to you? We grow up with our fairy tale dreams of the“ Knight in Shining Armour” and then with maturity, all the qualities that would make a good husband, and eventually a good father, become more important to us.
Romantic; makes you feel like the most loved and cared for person on the planet. Pays attention to the little things that count the most. Soft and gentle, while still able to command respect. Able to take the lead when things get tough, and make the mature decisions. Someone who can perfectly juggle a demanding career and the home life. Someone who helps with the household chores of their own will. What
WRITTEN by. Maryam Hosein
if we told you that such a husband did exist? This man was none other than the Last Messenger of God, Prophet Muhammad( peace be upon him). The Prophet( pbuh) is an ideal role model to all men, including how they should treat their womenfolk. He( pbuh) was so different from the oppressive society he came from, and acted in a way that was so different from the norm at that time.
You have to believe that if a Muslim wife is upset with her husband, she will likely remind him about what kind of husband the Prophet( pbuh) was! One fascinating feature about the personal life of the Prophet( pbuh) is the manner in which it was documented. There was no printing press at that time; information was transmitted word for word from person to person and documented through a strict system of verified chains of narration. And the leading source of the details about his( pbuh) personal life usually came from Aisha RA, one of his wives. She had nothing short of a photographic memory and related 2,210 of these sayings and actions of the Prophet( pbuh), which are known as Hadith. The Hadith give us tremendous insight into what is expected of us as Muslims. The Quran is the revealed word of Allah, and the Hadith compliments it perfectly as the latter shows us how to implement the teachings of the Quran in our everyday lives. Allah tells us in the Quran about the Prophet( pbuh):
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“ There has certainly been for you in the Messenger of Allah an excellent pattern for anyone whose hope is in Allah and the Last Day and [ who ] remembers Allah often”. Qur’ an( 33:21)
The Prophet( pbuh) was married at the age of 25 to a woman who was older than him, more financially secure( she was a successful businesswoman) and twice divorced, all things that men nowadays would consider intimidating. This was his wife Khadija( RA) and their marriage was a solid one. She was his only wife until her death, and the mother of his children. And even though she was more mature in years, she did respect the Prophet( pbuh)- both before his Prophethood and afterwards. The Prophet( pbuh) said of her:
“ I have not yet found a better wife than her. She had faith in me when everyone, even members of my own family and tribe did not believe me, and accepted that I was truly a Prophet and a Messenger of Allah. She converted to Islam, spent all her wealth and worldly goods to help me spread this faith, and this too at a time when the entire world seemed to have turned against me and persecuted me. And it is through her that Allah blessed me with children.”
After Khadija’ s( RA) death, there were multiple other marriages. What is really remarkable is that they were all successful marriages. One marriage is already completely challenging for most of us, but he( pbuh) was able to navigate all those different circumstances and different personalities with a lot of wisdom. And in turn, the love was reciprocated. Marriage played a central role during his life. Allah decreed marriage as a means for him to gain financial stability and security( via his wife Khadijah’ s ample wealth); to raise his young children( by marrying Saudah after Khadijah’ s death); to form important liaisons( e. g. by marrying Umm Habibah); to establish Islamic laws( e. g. marrying his cousin Zainab abolished an Arab custom that prohibited marrying an adopted son’ s divorcee); and to spread the message of Islam far and wide( e. g. his young wife A’ ishah