Step 2 : How to Recognize Fear
Fear is like an old oak tree . The limbs and branches of the tree look very different than the root . The part of the tree that attaches its self into the ground creating a support is the root . Sometime looking at a tree you never know how big , wide , or steep the root might be underground because it ’ s hidden . Then you have your branches . The beginning part of the branch looks more like the trunk . However , as the branch continues to grow it starts to look more like the limb and then stems . People think fear comes from the feeling of being scared and / or afraid , but what people don ’ t understand is that being scared is just one of the many emotions than can occur . Fear is similar to the root of the tree . The feeling of guilt , insecurities , worry , selfishness , anger , self-hate , self-pity , and shame can all be considered branches extending from the root of fear . Procrastination , being passive , avoidance , fighting , and arguing can also be branches on the same tree rooted in fear . Any and all negative emotions , and / or feelings can come from the root of fear . After branches , there are leaves . Leaves are small , dainty , and flimsy . We notice them on a tree , but no one leaf stands out more than the next and these leaves represent excuses . How many leaves are there on an Oak tree ? Interesting fact , a mature tree can have up to 200,000 leaves . Ask yourself how many leaves are on your tree of fear ? How many excuses have you told yourself ? How many excuses have you shared with your friends and family ? We all are guilty at one point or another for creating excuses on why we are not where we want to be , doing what we want to do . Our excuses are attached to negative thoughts and feeling which in many cases are growing from a place of fear . Now that we know how to recognize fear , we can now take a closer step on how to minimize it .
Step 3 : Minimizing fear
When fear creeps into a situation ; you must develop a selftalk strategy to minimize it to only be used when needed . Put “ fear ” back in its rightful place by saying “ Fear , thank you for keeping me safe but this is not a life threatening situation I will be fine , so please go back and have a seat until you are needed .”
When your mind says , “ I don ’ t have time .” you reply back “ I will make time ” When your mind says “ I ’ m not smart enough ” keep in mind you ’ re more than capable of gaining any , and all knowledge you need . Just like me on top of that diving board , I had more training than I realized . When the excuse “ I ’ ll do it but I need to do this first ” comes up , understand that the first step is out of your comfort zone , and will be scary , but , it ’ s a part of the process in achieving your goals . The “ I ’ m just waiting for the right time ” excuse is world famous and I ’ m guilty of using it a time or two .. What we need to understand is that fear is like an abstract painting . Everyone ’ s interpretation will be different . Everyone ’ s painting will look different ; there will never be a perfect time in an imperfect life . “ There is too much going on right now ” is another popular excuse . When are there not too many things going on in your life ? This excuse indicates that you may struggle with prioritizing your needs over others . Love yourself enough to make a to-do list and start putting things in motion . “ I would but I don ’ t think my partner or kids would want me to ” is another excuse that indicates you may have some problems putting yourself first . Family should be there to support you just as much as you ’ re there to support them . Sometimes family can ’ t see , dream and or envision what you can . It ’ s not their dream , it ’ s yours . Love yourself enough to put things into perspective when achieving your goals . Excuse number 7 “ but I need to pay the bills ” being afraid to be totally independent financially is a big one , especially for young adults taking the plunge into their own business and even for established families with a sole bread winner . Also the uncertainty of losing it all too can allow this excuse to float to the surface . Bills will always be there , having a made up mind to adjust your self accordingly is part of the sacrifice . “ I haven ’ t had the right opportunity yet ” is another common excuse . James Johnson writer and speaker on how to live without fear said “ Opportunities are like buses – there ’ s one every twenty minutes . It will never be perfect …… It ’ ll present itself in an awkward fashion and show up at the worst possible time . And , when you can ’ t find any opportunities at all – make one ” Remember ; you can minimize your fear by talking back placing fear in its rightful place . If it ’ s not a lifethreating situation taking place ; fear , negative emotions , and excuses should not be prominent in the forefront of your mind .
Fear is designed to keep you safe and out of harms reach . Fear can surface up in many emotions , not just the feeling of being scared . When fear talks to you , you talk back . Do not let fear and the many disguises it wears push you into never leaving your comfort zone . The memory of what happened to me on that diving board came back to my memory countless times in my life . That day I learned a lesson and the memory stood with me as a constant reminder of what to do any time I found my toes clenched down to the diving board of life . Moving into the year of 2017 as my mom said it best I encourage you to “ feel the fear and jump anyway .”
By Alexia Written
Volume 3 • Issue 1 | 2017 31