Hybrid Hues '15-'17 AIIMS, New Delhi | Page 138

WHEN BREATH BECOMES AIR -Paul Kalanithi 136 I never thought that a non-�ction work of literature that doesn’t lead to the development of any skill set would pique my interest. is one, despite having philosophical undertones took my breath away. e fact that half of it �ows like a bildungsroman leading to a meritorious overachiever at the cusp of achieving greatness may make it relatable to many of us in the medical fraternity. And then the Greek tragedy strikes. All the reviews, book-discussion forums, and chat rooms seem to suggest it being a story of a man, on verge of completion of a decade-long training in a profession most frequently associated with the development of a god complex; who suddenly has to come to terms with mortality. But to me, Paul Kalanithi appears to be fascinated with the questions dealing with the purpose of life, and the meaning of death, long before even starting his residency. Perhaps he chose to be a neurosurgeon seeking answers, or perhaps it was memory alteration in hindsight. But his death gave meaning to his life. He didn’t go ‘try-it-all’/adventurous stuff before moving into the tunnel of light, but his bucket list comprised most of his pre- existing long term plans which had to be accelerated (including this book). is was simultaneous with experimental chemotherapy for stage IV lung cancer. His masters in Lit is well re�ected in a plethora of archaic words used in comparison to the small volume of the overall manuscript. While his wife’s epilogue sounds so authentic and heartfelt that you practically pass through the stages of Kubler-ross along the pages. Reviewers say that Kalanithi’s descriptive prose is deprived of self-pity. I felt that the intellectualization, the visual imagery, the perpetual sense of irony (told or observed) are heart wrenching enough to re�ect self-pity and ignite empathy. A quick end is much more merciful than a debilitating unreliable time bomb. Anyone experienced in the circumstances leading to the emotional roller-coaster, the ambivalency, the simultaneous hope and despair can identify the ordeal one must endure in such a state of bidirectional �ux. “I can’t go on, I must go on”. Nikhil Mehta 2891, Batch 2010