Huffington Magazine Issue 92-93 | Page 76

HEALING HUFFINGTON 03.16-23.14 PREVIOUS PAGE: WASHINGTON POST/GETTY IMAGES FEW LIFE TRAUMAS CAN MATCH THE EXPERIENCES OF A MEDIC IN COMBAT, OR ETCH SO DEEPLY AND PAINFULLY INTO A SOUL. ¶ BILLIE GRIMES-WATSON WAS A MEDIC IN IRAQ IN 2003 AND 2004. AS THE INITIAL U.S. INVASION TURNED INTO BLOODY CHAOS, SHE WOULD SPRINT THROUGH THE SMOKE AND FIRE OF BLASTS FROM IMPROVISED EXPLOSIVE DEVICES and gunfire to save lives, struggling with the maimed and broken bodies of soldiers she knew and loved. And try to recover in a few hours rest between missions. She had just passed her 26th birthday. Occasionally she would call home, but would burst into tears when she’d start to describe what she was doing. Then she stopped trying. A young officer in her platoon, Ben Colgan, was fatally wounded in a bomb blast. She was devastated. “I couldn’t help Lt. Colgan,” she told the military newspa- per Stars and Stripes in 2004. Nearly a decade later, GrimesWatson is haunted by the war and her part in it, bearing moral injuries literally so unspeakable that she seems beyond help. “I avoid talking about it, try to keep it down,” she told me in a recent phone conversation. “But inside I’m trying to do the happy face so no one knows how much I’m hurting.” Therapists and researchers are recognizing more and more cases of servicemembers like GrimesWatson who are returning from war with moral injuries, wounds Previous page: Flight medic Sgt. Cole Reece checks the vital signs of a wounded Afghan boy before transporting him to the hospital at Kandahar Air Field on Oct. 10, 2010.