Huffington Magazine Issue 88 | Page 30

Voices 10 years since men have registered to you in this no-holds-barred way. You’d never thought your brain had been boxing itself in, but it must have done something to make peace with monogamy, because now there’s a crazy, frenetic motion to the world. Unexpectedly, the dog trainer asks you out on a date. You should have seen it coming — he’s been undercharging you. You are walking through the high school football field, the dogs, after five sessions, obediently at your side. The dog trainer runs his hand through his black mohawk. Your stomach drops into your running shoes. You feel like you did at 14. In minutes you’ve gone from thinking no one will ever ask you out to being terrified that people will. Be reckless, flawed, free. Your friends are settling down, after years of freedom during which you were settled. You were beyond settled when your husband was sick — you were crucial, which you hadn’t noticed until now, when you feel your sense of purpose deflating. When you’re on an airplane, you no longer have the thought that it can’t crash because someone needs you. It’s time to go to Mexico and ELIZABETH SCARBORO HUFFINGTON 02.16.14 learn Spanish. It’s time to lock up your house and disappear to wander the coast. Instead, you take ecstasy on New Year’s Eve with your siblings, your husband’s brother, all of your friends. Decimate your reputation as someone with judgment and integrity in one fell swoop. And do it with abandon. Com- Your next door neighbor Rivka, who, to be fair, is 70, but who is also a staunch feminist, wants you settled. It’s been less than a month but she’s trying to marry you off to her caregiver Mark.” pared to your former existence, nothing you do matters. You signed the DNR. You slept next to your husband in the hospital bed underneath a light, warm blanket. You rubbed his forehead as the nurse turned off the vent. And now, you’re running around this party like a teenager, carelessly, stupidly, flying into the post-apocalyptic part of your life. Crash into a stranger on the soccer field. You’re playing in the Sunday pickup game you go