Huffington Magazine Issue 84 | Page 55

HOW TO BE A PARENT... For her part, Joanna, a 33-yearold former high school teacher who has stayed home with her now 2½-year-old son since his birth, feels estrangement has been a positive force in her parenting. Joanna has not seen her father since she turned 17, when he refused to sell his portion of the home where Joanna and her three siblings had been raised to her mother and soon-to-be-stepfather. It caused a “huge rift,” she explained, and “a bunch of horrible things were said.” She and her siblings decided that they no longer wanted their father in their lives, and he, in turn, made no effort to speak to them again. The estrangement is not something Joanna thought much about until she became pregnant. Then — full of hormones and on the precipice of parenthood — she began to ruminate, thinking how strange it might feel for her father to not know her baby, or what she would do if he ever called. After her son was born, she and her husband talked, deliberately and often, about how, exactly, they wanted to parent in direct response to her father’s behavior. “For us, it’s really been a lot of talking about, ‘How do we do HUFFINGTON 01.19.14 things differently, so we don’t follow in those footsteps?’” she said. They make a point of not yelling, and regularly stop and make sure they’re tending to the basics: Are they treating their son nicely? Does he feel like his parents are present? Are they talking about things as a family? For his part, Mike agrees that being estranged from his parents Where do you turn for guidance and support when your own parental relationships are emotionally fraught and your role models have fallen short? motivates him to be a better father — though fear, about what might happen should things go wrong, always lingers. “I hesitate to say that I’m different, but I do think I’m self-aware, as a parent, because of the things that I’ve gone through,” he said. “I don’t want to fail him. I don’t ever want to feel like I wasn’t the best I could be for him.” Catherine Pearson is a senior reporter at The Huffington Post.