Voices
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meal in real time. Remind yourself that being present is the most
authentic way of truly experiencing something - whether that be
a dinner conversation, a concert
or a hike. That urge to capture the
moment in a picture, document
and share with the world doesn’t
add to that experience’s authenticity, in fact, it detracts from it.
Being a slave to your phone is
addictive. Start by small changes. When someone is speaking
to you, stop typing, looking at
your screen and pay full attention. When you’re having a meal
with someone, leave your phone
off the table so that you’re not
tempted to keep checking it.
11. WHEN YOU’RE FEELING
JUDGMENTAL, REMEMBER,
EMPATHY ALWAYS WINS.
People are going to frustrate you,
hurt you and even enrage you.
It’ll be easy to hate or judge these
people. But try to think about why
that person is behaving that way.
Remember that “hurt people hurt
people.” Think about what their
childhood may have been like,
what they may be going through,
what they’re scared of. When
you’re angry or blaming someone,
it’s easy to dehumanize the per-
AMY
CHAN
son. But even the target of your
frustration has a history and a
story. Ask yourself why the person
is affecting you so much as there’s
likely something you can learn
from the challenging interaction.
Lastly, don’t be so hard on
yourself. You will slip. There will
be times where you’ll be lazy and
lack the discipline to follow the
points of this contract. Don’t self
loathe when you do. Remember to
be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to be soft, to not
know all the answers, to be vulnerable, and most importantly, to be human.
Amy Chan is a relationship
& lifestyle columnist.
HUFFINGTON
01.12.14