Huffington Magazine Issue 83 | Page 36

Voices GETTY IMAGES/CULTURA RF meal in real time. Remind yourself that being present is the most authentic way of truly experiencing something - whether that be a dinner conversation, a concert or a hike. That urge to capture the moment in a picture, document and share with the world doesn’t add to that experience’s authenticity, in fact, it detracts from it. Being a slave to your phone is addictive. Start by small changes. When someone is speaking to you, stop typing, looking at your screen and pay full attention. When you’re having a meal with someone, leave your phone off the table so that you’re not tempted to keep checking it. 11. WHEN YOU’RE FEELING JUDGMENTAL, REMEMBER, EMPATHY ALWAYS WINS. People are going to frustrate you, hurt you and even enrage you. It’ll be easy to hate or judge these people. But try to think about why that person is behaving that way. Remember that “hurt people hurt people.” Think about what their childhood may have been like, what they may be going through, what they’re scared of. When you’re angry or blaming someone, it’s easy to dehumanize the per- AMY CHAN son. But even the target of your frustration has a history and a story. Ask yourself why the person is affecting you so much as there’s likely something you can learn from the challenging interaction. Lastly, don’t be so hard on yourself. You will slip. There will be times where you’ll be lazy and lack the discipline to follow the points of this contract. Don’t self loathe when you do. Remember to be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to be soft, to not know all the answers, to be vulnerable, and most importantly, to be human. Amy Chan is a relationship & lifestyle columnist. HUFFINGTON 01.12.14