Voices
with nobody passing by and few
signs that people had been here
before us, that we might as well
have been on the moon. Which
is why when we turned another
corner and saw what was in front
of us, my jaw dropped and, quite
literally, I had to catch my breath.
Hundreds of cairns surrounded
us. Hundreds. Balanced in rows
on the ground, on fallen trees, on
boulders, along the trail and further out into the woods, even delicately arranged in the branches
of the trees above us. Like nothing
I’ve ever seen. Just everywhere.
I was paralyzed. It was one of
the most magical things I’ve ever
seen. A gift, it seemed, just for us,
in the stillness and the privacy of
these woods. As my eyes teared up,
for the first time since January, I
felt Kristin again. I mean I really
felt her presence. It was overpowering. I realized if I was ever going
to get a sign, it would be like this
— one that demonstrated beauty,
creativity and cleverness. It was
Kristin, at her best.
The rest of the hike was a blur.
I was wiping my eyes for the last
couple of miles, wondering if
what we’d seen was real, and unable to shake the feeling I’d just
been with Kristin. We made it
JENNIFER
BENDERY
HUFFINGTON
01.12.14
out of the gorge and into town,
and caught our rickety bus back
to where we were staying. Soon,
we were on a plane to D.C. and
back at work, falling into our regular lives again.
I never really told anyone
about looking for Kristin over the
last year. Death isn’t an easy subject to begin with. How do you
casually mention you’re keeping an eye out for signs that your
I realized if I was
ever going to get a sign, it
would be like this — one
that demonstrated beauty,
creativity and cleverness.
It was Kristin, at her best.”
friend who died is doing great
in the afterlife? But as the year
winds down and everyone takes
stock of what mattered and what
didn’t, it’s that sprawling scene
of little rock piles in the middle
of nowhere — Kristin’s message
delivered, and received — that
mattered the most to me.
Rest in peace, my friend.
Jennifer Bendery is a politics
reporter at The Huffington Post.