‘AT LEAST YOU
HAVE ONE CHILD’
HUFFINGTON
12.08.13
ents who have decided to give up.
“A lot of couples do come to
me to find a resolution,” Allen
said. “They’re grieving the loss of
this idealized family they thought
they were going to have for themselves, and for their children.”
HOLDING ON TO HOPE
But the desire to have children
isn’t one that is abandoned easily — even with the enormous
financial burden that fertility
treatments can pose. And knowing in a very personal and tangible
way the happiness that children
can bring because they’ve already
had one only serves to strengthen
many parents’ resolve.
“Part of the reason why I want
another child so badly is because of how much I love my first
child,” said Wruble. She has had
one failed insemination, three
rounds of in vitro and several
miscarriages, and she continues to try for another baby using
what she has called on her blog
the “free, old-fashioned way.”
“It’s not that she’s not enough.
In a way she caused this by being
so wonderful,” Wruble said of
her daughter.
For her part, BuckinghamRamirez said she and her husband
will not pursue in vitro fertilization, partly because it is more
than they can afford and partly
because she fears she would be
too crushed, emotionally, if it
failed. She said she is open to
adoption, particularly because her
own brother was adopted, but her
husband is less certain. For now,
the couple has decided to take
a several-month break from any
medical procedures, in order to
lower their stress around the holidays. They will re-group after —
possibly pursuing an IUI, she said.
Buckingham-Ramirez swore to
herself that she would stop fretting over her cycle and Googling
each ache and sensation to see if
it’s pregnancy-related, but she’s
struggling to keep that promise.
“I don’t know if I can ever stop
thinking about it or take a
real break,” she said.
Catherine Pearson is a senior
reporter at The Huffington Post.
Amy Wruble
discusses her
struggle with
secondary
infertility. Tap
here for the
full segment
on HuffPost
Live.