Huffington Magazine Issue 78 | Page 58

‘AT LEAST YOU HAVE ONE CHILD’ HUFFINGTON 12.08.13 ents who have decided to give up. “A lot of couples do come to me to find a resolution,” Allen said. “They’re grieving the loss of this idealized family they thought they were going to have for themselves, and for their children.” HOLDING ON TO HOPE But the desire to have children isn’t one that is abandoned easily — even with the enormous financial burden that fertility treatments can pose. And knowing in a very personal and tangible way the happiness that children can bring because they’ve already had one only serves to strengthen many parents’ resolve. “Part of the reason why I want another child so badly is because of how much I love my first child,” said Wruble. She has had one failed insemination, three rounds of in vitro and several miscarriages, and she continues to try for another baby using what she has called on her blog the “free, old-fashioned way.” “It’s not that she’s not enough. In a way she caused this by being so wonderful,” Wruble said of her daughter. For her part, BuckinghamRamirez said she and her husband will not pursue in vitro fertilization, partly because it is more than they can afford and partly because she fears she would be too crushed, emotionally, if it failed. She said she is open to adoption, particularly because her own brother was adopted, but her husband is less certain. For now, the couple has decided to take a several-month break from any medical procedures, in order to lower their stress around the holidays. They will re-group after — possibly pursuing an IUI, she said. Buckingham-Ramirez swore to herself that she would stop fretting over her cycle and Googling each ache and sensation to see if it’s pregnancy-related, but she’s struggling to keep that promise. “I don’t know if I can ever stop thinking about it or take a real break,” she said. Catherine Pearson is a senior reporter at The Huffington Post. Amy Wruble discusses her struggle with secondary infertility. Tap here for the full segment on HuffPost Live.