Voices
It’s not like the sacrifice will result
in improved circumstances; the
thing holding me back isn’t that
I blow five bucks at Wendy’s. It’s
that now that I have proven that I
am a Poor Person, that is all that I
am or ever will be. It is not worth
it to me to live a bleak life devoid
of small pleasures so that one day
I can make a single large purchase.
I will never have large pleasures to
hold on to. There’s a certain pull
to live what bits of life you can
while there’s money in your pocket, because no matter how responsible you are you will be broke
in three days anyway. When you
never have enough money it ceases
to have meaning. I imagine having
a lot of it is the same thing.
Poverty is bleak and cuts off
your long-term brain. It’s why
you see people with four different
babydaddies instead of one. You
grab a bit of connection wherever
you can to survive. You have no
idea how strong the pull to feel
worthwhile is. It’s more basic than
food. You go to these people who
make you feel lovely for an hour
that one time, and that’s all you
get. You’re probably not compatible with them for anything longterm, but right this minute they
can make you feel powerful and
LINDA
TIRADO
HUFFINGTON
12.08.13
valuable. It does not matter what
will happen in a month. Whatever
happens in a month is probably
going to be just about as indifferent as whatever happened today or
last week. None of it matters. We
don’t plan long-term because if we
Nobody gives enough
thought to depression.
You have to understand that
we know that we will never
not feel tired. We will
never feel hopeful. We will
never get a vacation. Ever.”
do we’ll just get our hearts broken.
It’s best not to hope. You just take
what you can get as you spot it.
I am not asking for sympathy.
I am just trying to explain, on a
human level, how it is that people
make what look from the outside
like awful decisions. This is what
our lives are like, and here are our
defense mechanisms, and here is
why we think differently. It’s certainly self-defeating, but it’s safer.
That’s all. I hope it helps
make sense of it.
Linda Tirado is an average American
with two kids and two jobs.