Huffington Magazine Issue 67 | Page 43

O HUFFINGTON 09.22.13 ON THE EARLY EVENING of March 15, 2011, in the bedroom of a two-story red brick townhouse in Virginia Beach, Va., Navy Petty Officer Joshua Lipstein put a .45-caliber Glock 21 pistol to his right temple and pulled the trigger. He was 23 years old. ¶ The Navy, after an investigation, ruled that Joshua died “in the line of duty and not due to his own misconduct.” ¶ The real story is more complicated. More confusing. More heartbreaking. ¶ His story is unique, but it also reflects the struggles of the 301 active-duty military men and women who died by suicide that year, part of a growing toll of invisible casualties. ¶ It is difficult to reconcile Joshua’s last desperate act with the outward blessings of his life. He was young, smart, capable and well-liked. He was recently married and doted on his infant daughter. He was close to and loved by his dad, Don Lipstein, his sister, Emily, and brother, Andrew. And yet, like many afflicted by thoughts of suicide, he was fighting an undertow so powerful that it was largely invisible to those who loved him, until it was too late. At times, they felt they had somehow failed him. “What did I do wrong as a par- ent?” Don still wonders. “There may have been something I could have done to affect the outcome. But I did the best I could.” It was Joshua’s wife, Leslie, late that afternoon, who alerted Don that Joshua was talking about suicide. “I don’t know what to do,” she said in a call from their home in Texas. She didn’t know where Joshua was, and she was frightened. “He doesn’t sound good at all,” she said. Rattled, Don dialed Joshua’s cell phone. He waited, silently begging Joshua to answer. He was scared about what to say, what not to say. Seconds passed. Final-