Voices
Michael was doing very well.
He just finished shooting The
Streets of San Francisco. One
day, he said to me, “How is it going with Cuckoo’s Nest”?
“Nobody wants to do it.”
There was a long pause, and
then he said, “Dad, can I try to do
something with it?”
I looked at him and thought,
I have been trying for years to
get this produced. What can he
do with it?
But I said, “Okay, you can try.”
Within a year he got the money, a director and was casting the
picture. I was very proud of him,
but I was so happy because now
I would have the chance to play
the coveted role of McMurphy.
I went to visit him. “Michael,” I
said, “I’m so proud of you! Who’s
your director?”
“You wouldn’t know him.”
“But who is he?”
“He’s a foreigner. Milos
Foreman.”
“I know Milos! I met him in
Prague. He knows me!”
“Well, he thinks you’re too
old for the part. He wants
Jack Nicholson.”
Now I paused, for a long time.
Finally I said, “Who’s he?”
I was happy that Michael put
KIRK
DOUGLAS
it all together but I was so disappointed that I would not be playing McMurphy. I was secretly
anxious to see how badly someone else would muck up my part.
I saw the movie for the first time
at the premiere. Despite my personal feelings of rejection, I had to
admit it was a great movie. Jack
Nicholson was brilliant!
But even as old as (apparently)
I now was, rejection still hurt.
Yet, for me, it was a valuable lesson. Sometimes what you think
you want is not what you really
need. At this point in my life, Michael’s success was more important to me than my own.
Michael has gone on to a tremendously successful career. And he
didn’t need any help from me. On
my birthday, he gave me a beautiful new car. I sat in the driver’s seat
and I saw a note on the wheel. I recognized Michael’s handwriting:
“Dad, you always say I never
asked you for anything but you
gave me a lot. Love, Michael.”
What is the opposite of rejection? Acceptance.
Not just from others —
from yourself.
Kirk Douglas is a retired actor