Huffington Magazine Issue 59 | Page 38

Voices was intended to be in the first place, pretty much requires that they now provide a steady supply of hookers and blow. Don’t make your friends set up a kids’ room, and definitely don’t make them buy hookers and blow. 5. ‘MY LIFE DIDN’T HAVE MEANING BEFORE I HAD KIDS!’ Another way to say this: My life was meaningless before I had kids. Another way: Life without kids is meaningless. Look, I know this feeling. Sometimes it feels like all the worries I had before my kids were trivial. I understand the urge to convey that feeling into words. Don’t do it. Your life may have a different purpose now, but your pre-kid life was an important part of your story, and your non-kid-having friends are a part of that. Don’t dismiss that part of your life the way most people skip the foreword to a novel they really want to read. By dismissing the “before” as just a buildup to your kids, you are not only dismissing your friends, but you’re also implying that their story has not started yet. Lastly, if you have done or said any of these things, you don’t need to apologize. Just stop say- JOHN KINNEAR HUFFINGTON 07.28.13 ing them. Apologizing will make it worse. I apologized for one of these things, and it came out poorly. It basically sounded like “Oh, you poor, delicate, non-kidhaving flower. I am sorry that I was so consumed in my awesome parenting that I was neglectful and dismissive of our friendship. Please forgive me.” There was no forgiveness needed. I hadn’t harmed anyone, I’d Unless you and your friend have some previous communication on this topic about how your little one is always welcome, assume the party is not kid-friendly.” just annoyed them. Forgiving me would have been like forgiving a fly for landing on you. So, I promise to try and be more aware of how I say things, a better friend and less of a fly. And by less of a fly, I mean that I will not land on you, vomit on you and then try to eat you. College is over. I don’t do that stuff anymore. John Kinnear is the author of AskYourDadBlog.com.