Huffington Magazine Issue 59 | Page 36

Voices 1. ‘DOGS ARE NOT KIDS.’ It usually goes like this. “Ugh. You know what really bugs me? When so-and-so compares her dog to my kid. Or when so-and-so refers to his or her dog as his or her kid. Dogs are not kids! She has NO IDEA!” You know what? Unless “soand-so” needs professional help, I guarantee “so-and-so” knows that her dog is not a human child. She also knows that having a dog is nothing like having a kid. What she’s really saying is “Oh! Yes. I also have something in my life that poops AND brings me joy.” She is trying to relate to you and be a part of your life — the life where all you do is talk about your kids. I know that it’s hard to relate when you have kids and your friends don’t. What were once close relationships can become sporadic meet-ups where you do your best to try and catch up with someone with whom you have very little in common anymore. Sure, you two were best buds in college, but now you have very different lives. So, when “so-and-so” offhandedly, and perhaps awkwardly, tries to relate to your story about picking poo out of your bangs by comparing it to scraping dog shit out of the carpet, cut her some JOHN KINNEAR HUFFINGTON 07.28.13 slack. She’s just trying to be nice. And she misses you. 2. ‘YOU THINK YOU’RE [INSERT ANYTHING HERE]? TRY HAVING KIDS!’ Tired, stressed, in pain, covered in urine, it doesn’t matter. They all apply. Too often, we parents downplay non-parents’ concerns by pulling ours out and tossing them on the table. “Oh man! You worked 50 hours this week? Try I guarantee ‘so-and-so’ knows that her dog is not a human child ... What she’s really saying is ‘Oh! Yes. I also have something in my life that poops AND brings me joy.’” doing that with kids!” “Oh man, you think your feet hurt from working outside all day! I’ve been chasing my toddler blah blah blah punch me in the face, please.” It’s not a competition. If, on a scale of 1 to Passing Out Awkwardly in the Shower and Waking Up When the Hot Water Runs Out, your friend is at a 7, and three weeks i nto your first newborn you were at a 9, that DOESN’T MAKE YOUR FRIEND ANY LESS TIRED.