FAMILY
UNDERTAKING
“A lot of people don’t want to do anything with touching dead bodies,” says
Knox. “They consider it creepy. But it
can actually be the first step to healing
and acceptance of death. Slowing down
the process allows all involved to absorb the loss at their own pace. It’s an
organic emotional and spiritual healing
not available from limited calling hours
at a remote location.”
HUFFINGTON
03.03.13
and people would gather to chat on the
porch. “Caroline is in her room, and if
you want to say goodbye to her, you can
do that,” Alison would tell each guest.
Most went upstairs for private visits in
her bedroom. At least one couple decided not to visit her there.
In Tennessee, where the Kirks live, the
laws on home funerals are relatively lax.
After getting a death certificate — Alison
and Doug had Caroline’s pediatrician
Caroline died at noon on a Tuesday.
sign off on one — a family is free to do
Through Thursday morning, her body
what it wants with a dead body within a
stayed in her childhood home, surround- reasonable amount of time. Alison had a
ed by old dolls, stuffed animals and her
funeral director, who was friendly to her
favorite books. Friends and
ideas, on-call for urgent needs
family came in and out to
like figuring out how to patch
“Why
say goodbye. Some would get
up a leaking hole in Caroline’s
would
we
on the bed beside her body,
stomach once a feeding tube
give
her
to
stroking her face and hair.
was removed. She also had
someone
Others would sit across from
him bring a hearse with a caselse
once
her in a rocking chair.
ket to her home.
she
died?”
“In the morning, I spent
“I did look into if we could
time with Caroline. At night,
bury Caroline at our own
I spent time with Caroline. I would tell house. We could have,” says Alison. “But
her goodnight. It was very calming to
it’s not like we are on some ancestral
sit next to her. I touched