TASTE
TEST
Exit
#1
HUFFINGTON
01.27.13
MILDLY RECOMMENDED
DIGIORNO DEEP DISH,
FOUR-CHEESE PIZZA
Comments: “The tomato
sauce and cheese were
plentiful. And the dough is
SO sugary, almost like sugar
cookies in a weirdly addictive
way (probably because I’m
American).” “Good, salty
cheese. The sauce is kind of
sweet, and the dough is not
pizza crust but pleasantly
crispy in parts. Wait, I’ve
turned on this. The dough is
cookies.” “It’s a soft doughy
masterpiece. Strong oregano
flavor, sweet pizza sauce and
so much soft dough.” “The
dough could be crispier —
it’s very sweet.”
#2: CALIFORNIA PIZZA
KITCHEN CRISPY THIN
CRUST, MARGHERITA
Comments: “This is ‘fancy’
microwave pizza. Lots of flavor,
but it sort of tastes like my spice
cabinet exploded on this.” “Oh, hi
herbs! I like that there are whole
pieces of tomato on this.” “This
pizza does not taste like it was
microwaved. B ut it does taste like
they used a cracker for a crust.”
“It’s the most flavorful of the
bunch, and I like the crispy crust.”
NOT RECOMMENDED
#3: TRADER JOE’S PIZZA MARGHERITA
Comments: “The tomato sauce is fresh and
there’s so much going for this pizza, but the
cheese ruined it. It’s like someone melted
American cheese, let it harden into a rubbery
disk, and threw it on top of this.” “This is the only
one that actually looks like pizza. I like the sauce,
but the cheese is too weird to forgive.” “You have
to be really brave to take a bite out of the cheese.
It looks like glue.” “This has the best crust of the
bunch, but the cheese tastes like plastic.”
#4: DIGIORNO TRADITIONAL CRUST,
FOUR-CHEESE PIZZA
Comments: “It’s too sweet and the bread tastes
stale.” “Aside from the cardboard flavor, I like the
slight crunch in the crust. How did a microwave
do that?” “There is LOTS of dried oregano. The
dough is dry and I want more cheese.” “It’s got a
nice firm crust but it’s too shortbread-y.”
PHOTOGRAPHS BY DAMON DAHLEN
#5: CELESTE PIZZA
FOR ONE, ORIGINAL
Comments: “Where’s the
cheese?” “Whatever you do, don’t
smile while eating this pizza. The
sauce/paste glues to your teeth.”
“Whoa. REALLY salty. The sauce
sticks to your teeth, weirdly.
Where is the cheese? This pizza
should die.” If you blindfolded me, I
wouldn’t know this is pizza.”