Voices
we want to be.
Our conversation was oddly
timed, coming just days after Monique Honaman’s provocative
post, “I Just Wish He Would Have
an Affair,” in which she detailed
how many wives have confided in
her that they just don’t want to be
married anymore:
“These women are done.
They say they aren’t happy.
They say they aren’t in love
with their husbands (or any
other man — they aren’t
having affairs). They say
they simply wish they were
no longer married to him.
They aren’t fulfilled. They
wonder if this is how they
are doomed to live the rest of
their lives (and God-willing,
most of them have another
40+ years ahead of them). ...
The common factor amongst
all of these women is that
they say that their husbands are really solid, good,
nice men ... they just don’t
want to be married to them
anymore because they have
fallen out of love.”
Honaman doesn’t say how
old these women are or how
VICKI
LARSON
HUFFINGTON
01.20.13
long they’ve been married, but
since she indicates they have
another 40-plus years ahead of
them, it seems that they are middle-aged, too.
Why is midlife so wrought with
angst for women? One study found
that age 48 is the pivotal year for
women’s unhappiness, and women tend
to be more prone to
We’re
depression anyway.
in midlife,
But at midlife, we’re
crisis or not; a
dealing with menotime when we
pause, the loss of our
question what
role as nurturer, the
we’ve done
loss of our youth and
beauty, etc.
— and, more
And, sure — some
likely, haven’t
women have been
done — and
inspired by the Eat,
where we
Pray, Love syndrome:
want to be.”
After raising a family and tending to the
home and baking Lord-knowshow-many brownies for Boy
Scout fundraisers and volunteering to drive on countless field
trips while doing paid or non-paid
work (and, yes, being a stay-athome parent is work), many feel
it’s finally “me” time. We want to
stop nurturing others and start
nurturing ourselves. We want to
feel a little bit selfish instead of