Voices
JANELL BURLEY
HOFMANN
HUFFINGTON
01.13.13
GETTY IMAGES/FLICKR RF
Your
iPhone
Contract,
With
Love,
Mom.
DEAR GREGORY,
Merry Christmas! You are now
the proud owner of an iPhone.
Hot Damn! You are a good and
responsible 13-year-old boy and
you deserve this gift. But with the
acceptance of this present comes
rules and regulations. Please read
through the following contract. I
hope that you understand it is my
job to raise you into a well-rounded, healthy young man who can
function in the world and coexist
with technology, not be ruled by
it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.
I love you madly and look
forward to sharing several million
Janell Burley
Hofmann is
a writer and
community
activist