Enter
feeding or being bored by their
infants and feeling guilty about
that. Being bored was a big one for
me. My mom said, “You’re going
to want to be around your baby all
the time.” All I wanted to do was
get back to work. But you’re not
allowed to say that because that
means you think your kid is dull.
You write about the reasons you think
parents are dissatisfied. What is it about
this particular moment that’s making us
miserable? In part it’s the expectation
that kids should bring you joy. People used to have kids to raise good
citizens, or so they could help out on
the farm. Now it’s, “I want to fulfill
my life.” It’s too much pressure to
put on one person—and on yourself.
In the book you write: “Mommy blogs organize to take down diaper ads but are
largely silent on the lack of paid maternity
leave. It’s surprising that the vast mommy
blogosphere and Twitterverse hasn’t rallied around political causes that matter
to parents— subsidized child care, quality
public education, etc. We’ve accepted
this idea that parenting is our problem. “It’s not the government’s
problem how I afford child care, or
how I work out maternity leave—
this is my family’s problem.” When
the Ann Romney-Hilary Rosen flap
Q&A
HUFFINGTON
08.26.12
happened, I tweeted something like,
“Oh, I’m glad the Romneys think
taking care of kids is a real job. I
look forward to seeing how their
platform reflects that.” There was
an opportunity for parents to [mobilize], but there was just ... silence.
You take issue with idea that motherhood is the “most important job in the
world.” Why? Do I think motherhood is important? Do I love rais-
Who gives a shit
if this woman wants
to breastfeed her
four-year-old? It’s really
just a great distraction.”
ing my daughter? Of course. But
I don’t want it to be the most
important thing I ever do. I also
don’t want to tell my daughter
that the most important thing
she’ll ever do is have a child. Because then why do anything else?
I can imagine someone who does consider
motherhood the most important thing she
does thinking you sound condescending.
Motherhood is the most important
relationship I’ll ever have. But when