Voices
began to struggle for legitimacy
in the workplace. Now men, who
have always had legitimacy in the
workplace, are struggling for legitimacy in the home.”
Or, as Charles E., a political
science professor, father of four,
and “trailing spouse” to his wife’s
new political career put it: “My
job is the ‘second’ one, so if I
work less we have l ess money, but
if I work more then the kids get
less parenting. What I am feeling
is Mommy Guilt.”
Yes, it is. And the data show
that other men are discovering the
many versions of it, too:
n In 1977, 41 percent of women
reported feeling torn between home
and work, a number that inched
up five percentage points over the
next 30 years. Men, on the other
hand, were at 31 percent back in
the 70s, and at 59 percent today.
In other words, men are more
stressed about balancing life and
work right now than women.
n The number of conflicted men is
growing. Depending on how you
define “stay-at-home-dad,” there
are 157,000 fathers at home full
time according to the last census,
but up to two million who are primary caregivers and whose work
HUFFINGTON
06.17.12
LISA
BELKIN
is purposefully flexible. And these
figures do not include the millions of men who lost jobs during
the worst of the recession and are
home involuntarily.
n Increasingly women are outearning men. Almost 40 percent of
women are the bigger breadwinners, according to Liza Mundy’s
new book, The Richer Sex: How
the New Majority of Female
Breadwinners is Transforming
Daddy Guilt
Percentage of men reporting to be torn
between home and work:
31% 59%
1977
Sex, Love, and Family, compared
to 25 percent in the 90s and five
percent in the 70s. Meaning if
one parent is to become the primary caregiver, it is no longer, de
facto, the mother.
n At the same time, men are more
2012
willing to entertain the thought of
themselves as primary parents. One