How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 89

If you get this wrong you will find it very difficult indeed to build
rapport as the detailed person will be yearning for more information
and the big picture person will soon be yawning!
6. Match common experiences
After all, what are you going to talk about!
This is all about finding some commonality to talk about. Matching
experiences, interests, backgrounds, values and beliefs.
One point to bare in mind is that you need to be subtle when you are
matching and mirroring. Don't go over the top!
Typically however, the other person will be focussing so much on what
they have to say that they will not even notice.
Calibration is one way of determining whether you are in rapport with
someone.
This basically means that you need to develop your ability to notice to
such an extent that you can begin to see people's reactions to
communications.
If the person seems to be comfortable with what you are doing, more
than likely you are building rapport.
Look at for their eye movement, the muscles around the eyes, their lip
movement, and twitches or changes in breathing.
Some extra tips that may come in very useful:
Smile
I know that this one’s obvious, but we’re much more approachable
when we smile. Alternatively, a greeting without a smile lacks warmth
and makes it difficult for us to connect with others.
A solid handshake
A good handshake isn’t very memorable, but a bad one is. Make sure
that your handshake is firm (without breaking fingers) and doesn’t go
on for too long.

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