How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 80

3.9 EXTERNALISING OF PROBLEMS
Externalising language is used in coaching to separate the problem
from the person. For example, a person may say “I am a sad person”.
This implies that the person has a sad quality or characteristic of
sadness rather than it just being something that affects the person from
time to time.
Coaches working from a narrative perspective are attuned to the
language they use to represent an issue or problem in their coachees’
lives. They assume that the issue or problem is “having an effect on the
person” rather than the issue or problem being an intrinsic part of who
the person is.
Rather than saying “you are lacking in motivation”, a coach working
from a narrative perspective may ask “when did motivation leave you?”
OR rather than say, “you are stressed” the coach may enquire, “when
did stress get a hold of you?”
Source: www.mentalhealthacademy.com.au
Consider the difference between saying ‘I’m a perfectionist’ as
opposed to saying ‘Perfectionism is giving me a hard time today.’ In the
latter case, you are, in language at least, separating you – the person –
from the problem. The separation opens up different ways of talking
about the problem and helps bring to the surface different options for
responding to it.
Of course, you can think of impediments to productivity as a
manifestation of your basic essence, your basic nature. The
impediments may be your intrinsic laziness, slow-wittedness, or
clumsiness showing through. On the other hand, you can externalise
these impediments, think of them as objects or agents that are distinct
from you and with which you have a (sometimes troubled) relationship.
When problems are externalised, it’s much more natural to think of
them as coming and going, sometimes being strong, sometimes weak. It
is much more natural to ask when they arrived on the scene, to ask
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