How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 441

Meanwhile, discover their values and use them in all you say
Make them talk or think about themselves, his emotions, desires, …
* What are you looking for in a car, boyfriend, …?
* Why did you buy this …?
* What do you like most about it?
* How would you describe your ideal …?
* Ask for advice: what would you do? how do you do this?
2. Combine Visualization and Discovering Values
The direct suggestion + feed back question
Using phrases like: “If you were to imagine feeling really sad right
now, how would that feel like?” will take people’s imagination back to
moments in which they felt that way, inducing a similar feeling right
now.
Of course, saying something like that so blatantly requires that you
have previously built up a good deal of trust and comfort. Unless
people accept that you have some right to share the information asked
for, and unless the context allows for believing that you have a genuine
interest in the subject at the time of asking, you are prone to meet with
strong opposition just because it is straight out suggestive.
A more indirect way to obtain the same result is: The manipulative
question
You might say: "What do you need to feel in order to be really
comfortable around someone?" , or: "What does it feel like when
you feel incredibly happy / attracted to someone…?"
A somewhat weaker variation hereof is the indirect manipulative
question
This would sound like: "Have you ever found yourself becoming so
longing to buy a product, that the rest of the world just seems to
fade away and all you can think of is how much you need to have

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