How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 414

past. To varying degrees, all feelings are influenced by both. Events in
the present can trigger old feelings that a person may be unconscious
of. When someone is not aware that his past feelings have been
aroused, he may be especially confused by the intensity of his
emotional response. This confusion will lead him to seek validation.
For example, Bob, a young man, may be terrified of asking an
acquaintance, Courtney, on a date. This fear may seem unreason-able to
Joan, a mutual friend who has often seen Courtney con-spicuously
flirting with Bob. Bob may agree that he is stupid to feel so shy. Only
when Bob and Joan take into account the painful rejections Bob has
experienced in the past do