How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 411

Validation Defined
Simply put, validation is the message, "Your feelings make sense. Not
only do I hear you, but I understand why you feel the way you do.
You are not bad or wrong or crazy for feeling the way you do."
This is a message people often need to hear, especially when they are
rocked by strong feelings. No one is going to sound authentic, however,
parroting these exact words. The art of validation is in tailoring the
essence of this message to the specific feeling and situation the speaker
is experiencing.
The Need For Validation
To understand why people need to be validated requires us to look at
how often our feelings get shamed. As a society we have very few places
where feelings are welcomed. We learn that strength means not crying,
bravery means not feeling fear, and maturity means never being angry.
Showing strong emotion tends to make the people around you very
uncomfortable. Usually, they will att V