How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 310

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Help people make decisions
Awaken new perspectives (Jan Sikorski)
Get too close to the truth (Carolyn Martin)

Guidelines for Provocation
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Build TRUST first! (Provocation without trust starts fights!)
Start with agreement, compliments and mini-metaphors
Use a gentle voice tonality (unless you want a fight)
Soften provocation with “Maybe…”; “Perhaps…”, etc
Use the person’s values ("If X is really important, ...")
Give a person time to assimilate your provocation
Use a rising “question” tonality (“You really believe that?”)
Incorporate verbal and non-verbal objections
If a person age-regresses - talk as if to a wise child
Repeat important provocation in different ways
Offer provocative choices with multiple “Maybe”
Be prepared to support your provocation

Provocation Examples
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Agreement You’re right! Exactly! Of course! So true! Good!
Compliment That may be a good summary of your situation.
Empathy If I were you I might believe that too.
Conditional Agreement Perhaps that’s true for you.
Neutral Maybe we can both learn something from this.
Reality Check Is that always true? Is there another way to look at
it?
Exaggeration Maybe this problem has never before been solved!
Challenge Values Maybe it’s fine for you to stay this way.
Doubt I want to believe you ... but something is missing…
Mild disagreement That may not be totally true.
Counter Example Another client resolved that situation by…
Yes + No I completely agree (as you show a non-verbal “No”)
Yes, but I agree, but do you think that it’s really possible?
Metaphor Once upon a time there was an Ugly Duck …
Peaceful tact I agree that a person under stress might say that…