How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 290
really didn't feeling like going and again it is as if something just
takes over and there I am again doing something I don't really feel
like doing." In a situation like this Voice Dialogue could be a very
effective intervention.
What does is look like?
The therapist might say: "It really does sound like there are two very
different ways of being or value systems that are operating in you.
There is you the party person, the more extraverted self who
generally needs some alcohol or drug to get him going. On the other
side is a more introverted part of you trying to come out and be
heard but he seems to have less authority than the other one. How
would you feel about my talking to these two feelings or ways of
being in the world to see if this might help clarify some of the
conflict that you are describing?"
The therapist starts always with the self that is the more primary, that
leads his life in the world. For this the client actually moves over
physically to a different position and the conversation or interview
begins. When finished John would go back to the center for a
discussion of the work so far. In this, or the next session, the therapist
might have a conversation with the less developed, often totally
disowned self.
How does it help the client?
Listen to the underlying messages of our internal voices
Discover the hidden agreements we have made with particular
parts of ourselves and change the contracts
Make peace with all aspects of ourselves so we can develop
cooperative members of our internal team
It helps the client in three ways. First he gets to hear in a very objective
way what these different "voices" or selves have to say, what they want
and need, how they developed -- the family forces that shaped them.
607