How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 289

3.25 VOICE DIALOGUE
Ever feel a battle raging inside you? The part that wants to achieve
versus the lazy bum? The good guy versus the rebel? The loner versus
the attention-seeker? Or maybe your critic, inner child, ideal self and
saboteur get together to play poker once in a while. Voice Dialogue may
be the technique for you.
Voice Dialogue is the main intervention used in a modality called the
Psychology of the Selves developed by psychologists Hal and Sidra
Stone, Their theory suggests that various parts of self coexist within
each of us and determine our thoughts, behaviors and relationships
with others.
“Each of us "contains multitudes". We are made up of many selves,
identifying with some and rejecting others. This over-identification
with some selves and the loss of wholeness that comes from the
rejection of others, can create imbalances and blind spots. This work is
about embracing all the selves. This dance of the selves is an amazing
process and we see the dynamics of the world around us shift as our
internal world changes.”
Rather than making choices based on a given criteria (the most rational,
what feels right, what other people want, etc.), Voice Dialogue
encourages a discussion between the parts of self at odds with one
another. The understanding and expression of these selves helps us
increase our self-awareness and even function better within a
relationship.
When would a clinician use Voice Dialogue?
When there is a sense that the client has a feeling that he or she has
different selves or parts. For example, let us say that John goes to a
party that he doesn't really feel like going to. Once there he has a few
drinks and soon he is the life of the party. In the middle of the night
when he awakens he is a bit depressed. In his session he may say
something like: "I don't understand how I get into these things. I
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