How to Coach Yourself and Others Techniques For Coaching | Page 282

• Rescuers are constantly applying short-term repairs to a Victim’s
problems, while neglecting their own needs. They are always working
hard to “help” other people. They are harried, tired, and often have
physical complaints. They are usually angry underneath and may be a
loud or quiet martyr in style. They use guilt to get their way.
• Persecutors blame the Victims and criticize the enabling behavior of
Rescuers, without providing guidance, assistance or a solution to the
underlying problem. They are critical and unpleasant and good at
finding fault. They often feel inadequate underneath. They control with
threats, order, and rigidity. They can be loud or quiet in style and
sometimes be a bully.
Players sometimes alternate or “switch” roles during the course of a
game. For example, a Rescuer pushed too far by a Persecutor will
switch to the role of Victim or counter-Persecutor. Victims depend on a
savior, Rescuers yearn for a basket case and Persecutors need a
scapegoat.
While a healthy person will perform in each of these roles occasionally,
pathological role-players actively avoid leaving the familiar and
comfortable environment of the game. Thus, if no recent misfortune has
befallen them or their loved ones, they will often create one. In each
case, the drama triangle is an instrument of destruction. The only way
to “escape” the Drama Triangle is to function as an “adult” and not
participate in the game.
How the game is played
A good examp